God is good… but I am exhausted.
And so was he–exhausted.
Exhausting his final breath
in a forceful cry
at the moment of unmerited abandonment by God himself
restrained by his own mutilated hands and feet
naked and humiliated
violated by the very souls for whom he would secure salvation
by the very souls for whom he instructed the Father to “Forgive them.”
He was exhausted
by the force of my rebellion tight around his neck
by my pride in striped welts across his back
by my contempt tearing through his side and scraping down is face
and spewing derision through my lips because “How dare he call himself my King?”
blood and water pouring to the earth
the cup he had received in obedience: my sin offering and my baptism
his exhaustion unto death for me
He was exhausted
And though exhausted, he came through–
…kept his promise to us: that he is both merciful and just,
to all the nations,
…passed through Hell and came back to life for the redemption of our own
…paid for our sin in full and never ceased to love us
…succumbed to the the full gravity of human iniquity and rose supernaturally from the grave
that no matter the tyranny of Death, we can live fully, free and forever,
with God beside us,
now and tomorrow and anyway
I am exhausted, but he was exhausted
so that I can pass through any valley of the Shadow and never settle down there
yea, though I walk, I will keep walking and
yea, though I may tread for too long in that place
or revisit several times, I keep walking because
I am exhausted, but you were exhausted
and are with me in my weariness
so that I may rest in assurance that, just as it was for my King, my indomitable Friend, there is the other side for me
-for us, always
God, you are good. God, I am exhausted.
God, you are good, and you hear and know and have compassion on my cry.
God you are good; You make promises and you keep them.
God you are good; Life is here to stay.
Therefore, Abba–Immah, I pray:
Lift up your beloved out of this valley,
I lift up my hands in supplication and exaltation alike.
I will wait for you, and while I wait, I will glorify your name.
You are worthy to be trusted;
You are worthy to be praised.
Today, I am exhausted, but
You, my God, are so good.
Copyright © 2021 A.M. Wilsonne