God is good... but I am exhausted. --- And so was he--exhausted. Exhausting his final breath in a forceful cry at the moment of unmerited abandonment by God himself restrained by his own mutilated hands and feet naked and humiliated violated by the very souls for whom he would secure salvation by the very souls... Continue Reading →
the ensemble (revised)
Revised: 4/21/2023 if you cannot follow my train of thought it does not mean that a train does not exist it does not mean my journey and my testimony of what I’ve seen and known and lived is not legitimate validated solely by your witness or your precedent if you cannot conceive a life like... Continue Reading →
I’d buried my womb; I think I am ready to find it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL8DaS5UGd0 How old was I when I buried my womb? How old were you when you started digging? I don’t remember,but I’m older now--I’ve been torn about lookingfor the unmarked grave where I hid it. Why now must the lost be re-found?Why return to this clearing of trees? I know why, though I'd rather not... Continue Reading →
Adagio and the Late Bloomer
I'll remember your adagio kisses on my forehead. How for the first time in my life I actually wanted to give,how I wanted to give to you. O to apprehend this desire within myself--that it exists after all,all of my thirty-odd years.The desire to give of my body--without shame or anxiety, without fear or disgust,without... Continue Reading →
I was given a seed OR the difficult recipe for fruit
Revision, January 28, 2021 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit." John 12:24 one seedone deatha prospect of new lifeof new mornings from fresh mourningif first, I make it through good-bye--through this night, throughthis winterpast... Continue Reading →